For a moment I hated your silence

I hated that there were moments there that held small guesses

A chance for my mind to create what you were thinking

Or an opportunity for my imagination to run wild with thoughts you never encountered.

I guess your silence scared me

But its part of your man-code

A disposition that started years ago in tag football, headlocks that lasted to long, or prideful moments that caused you to think in silence

Or scream, or cry, it’s the code that testosterone disables feelings

It’s the loss of emotion

A loss of words

It’s the no words at all

That had me scared, until I realize you spoke in another language

And when I would be quiet long enough to feel your lingers

I realized they screamed in soft tones everything I ever wanted to hear from you

Your fingertips traced over my back

In the language of Braille that asked about my day, while tickle sweet adjectives that make me blush in desert heat

They follow my hips to say I notice you, you are beautiful, magnificent, unique, a star that fell from the heavens and you gladly take out the time to find reasons to make it shine

They tap out Morris code that whisper dirty words in public places and set up meetings for rendezvous promised when time runs short

Then they rest where ever they fall saying don’t leave, you see me, you appreciate me, my warmth powers your soul.

You speak to me, without saying a word, I become a pad of chills and bumps and you read your emotions out loud to me over and over again, and I stay still and silent while I learn to listen to your codes

And it becomes my poetry and understanding

And realize it said more than any word that you could have uttered

So I no longer get frustrated I believed you miss an opportunity to say what you feel

You create moments different from mine and I get it, I won’t tell your boys

Or your father

Or anyone who believes a man is made of steel

Because you are

And in our quiet, I keep hidden your kryptonite

Your locks Samson

Your Juliet oh dear Romeo

For I am now with a secret

A code that you sculpt on skin and stare in eyes and I translate it and hold that dear to me in reminisced shutters and chills that run up my spine

Like the words you will trace out later

And all I ever ask of you is to never stop writing, tracing, sculpting, feeling, with my body as your canvas

Explore me with your words

It’s the simple melodies that we struggle to find lyrics to

And in the triangular rotations of drum, strings, and keyboards I want to be encircled by your lyrics

To be lost in a trance that traces a line to nowhere and that we place we are both settled

With time ticking slowly by mapping our future and imprinting our past there is no rush to run from the present

The melodies without lyrics asks for you to simply embrace your fingers in mine, mirror in each other palms imitating the art of our bodies later

Fully engulfed with each other, within each creases, every limb touching being accountable for its own sensation, slowly, exploring, understanding so it can be memorized through the senses of smell, taste, touch, and feel

And this will be the song of our souls…body connected with mind, intent…

Then when our physical bodies drift away to the places where we work, we laugh, we connect with society and the silent moments become filled with to do lists, we run in the classes of perfection because when the music stops we have learned to go

However there at the end of shadows and dark corners, in different parts of the planets we will let our imaginations run away to find each. For though we know another language, its this quiet moments that search out to each other and create a prophecy

For the next time,

The next place

The next moment when my heels come off, and your tie is undone and our exteriors are shredded down to bare truths and I see you

And you see me

The melodies will rise in the background and sing out for our reunion once again

Simple wordless melodies filled with our breaths that provide the soundtrack while we create the lyrics

Words provided by you…. words provided by me

A song that will always be ours, and it scripts the lines that design the best epic story I shall ever have known

Mine…Yours…Ours

A melody of unscripted love….

I can’t make a cake that tastes like Betty Crocker, because I’m not Betty Crocker

I can’t dance, shake, shimmy like Beyonce, because I’m not Beyonce

I can’t sing like Areatha or even hum like Billie Holiday that’s never been my motif

I can’t be anything or anybody but myself and in that I realize that

I can’t make helium sink, or defy gravity

I can’t tell a bird when to fly home, or advise a squirrel to store for the winter

I can’t wake a hibernating bear or determine how a tree should grow

I can’t take clouds home with me for the comfort I crave

There is no creating a canvas constructed of rainbows to paint the dreary days away

I can’t change the seasons or reverse the rotation of the sun and moon against each other

I can’t find a way to stop finding the can’ts because there are so many elements of this universe that are not within my threshold

And in all my weakness the greatest Can’t I have to now embrace is knowing I can’t

Just can’t

Can never

I can’t make you love me…because you weren’t meant to