Writing by Jes on Friday, 13 of January , 2012 at 3:59 pm
Tearstains and heartbreak trace the handwriting you hold on my heart
Never thought I would feel this alone again, but now I get this part
When my world was handed to me with you and a crystal glass
I never thought I would question if this was meant to last
But you can’t create a vision that isn’t shared
And you can’t beg to someone who doesn’t want you there
And although my heart feels like it stopped and won’t heal
I won’t deny that I loved who you were and I believed it to be real
I was committed to the future even with arguments and pain
But I am not committed to living a lie and living in vain
So I cry myself to sleep and let God dry my tears
And I will wake up in the morning to live out my fears
Because as much as I am willing to fight with you and love with you
It’s the with part that makes me ready to live it true
And I won’t give my love to a man who lets go of the dream he shared
Just to drive a self-induced fantasy of that only caresses what he cares
So even though tearstained pillows still linger with the scent of us
I recognized you released it and gave it up
And I go on growing hoping to escape this agony
The tragedy of you no longer sleeping next to me
Category: Uncategorized
Writing by Jes on Thursday, 7 of July , 2011 at 2:45 am
i stare at white walls
blank tales that tell me nothing
they don’t scold me, mold me
but they don’t hold me
and they stare back
without judgement or scowls
nor laughter or stories
I just stare at white walls
I stare at white walls
void of the color of sunshine
or tears
Impeding anger
pain
or love
They stay blank
As I stare at white walls
I stare at white walls
That stand empty
bare, pure
pale, clean
plain, drained
And they mirror my soul
And we stare at each other
Until the sun runs aways
And the moon finds its place in the sky
And my white walls
Turn to black nights
And I still stare at white walls
Category: Uncategorized
Writing by Jes on Monday, 25 of April , 2011 at 7:53 pm
I can do nothing else but offer my heart and give you what I crave
In loving you, I have taught you how to love me
To give without questions to understand past doubt
And to trust me if you wanted a break from being strong, just for awhile
In these moments and time it was never to own you
Gain you, buy you, conquer you, or dominate you
But to show you and teach myself that I can love
Past insecurities, past broken hearts, shattered dreams and resentful words
To see if I can posses the righteousness in my heart that I want you to see
To qualify myself to be free
And it wasn’t always perfect and times I hurt
I confused myself past common sense and prayed repeating words
That create cycles of crazy
But I arose the next moment still determined to find the best of you
To help me see the best of me
Not saying you define me, but yet you have helped elevate me
And if all I have is each lesson of each time I will be grateful
For the smiles, the laughs, the tears, the confusions
And let go of the bitterness and pain
And understand for a moment that you see me for who I am
Not who I should be
Category: Uncategorized