Reduction and Conversion….Lessons in Life and Math
Writing by Jes on Wednesday, 25 of February , 2009 at 3:57 pm
Reduction and Conversions….
I was depressed the other day. Really, because I was cheap. I am so cheap and easily stress that I refuse to buy a scale. I lied to myself that lie everyone who is thick uses when they work out, “I’m doing it for my health” and then proceed to eat something that Billy Banks would bark at them about. So yeah, I’m in the Motherland, yeah I sweat a gallon a day, I drink only water, and I run 3 miles everyday—well every other day, or more so I complete 3 miles on a consistent basis (running majority of the way), but I gets my workout on.
So when I snuck in the store and stepped on a pre-packaged scale real quick before the manager would catch me, I watched the hand rotate around and I groaned at the result. 80 pounds. And on this bootleg scale system the hand went around one full time before landing, 100 plus 80, 180 pounds. The same that I left home with. Five months in Africa and ain’t nothing changed.
So I got depressed, ate some friend chicken, listen to some Mo’Nique, watched Phat Girls, and decided this was the life for me. Now, I feel healthier, thought I looked it too…but WHATEVER, the scale hasn’t moved and if its my destiny to be 180, then I’ll be 180 with some chicken wings, not a damn salad.
The next week I passed a man with two weight scales on my way to work. I put up my hand and shook off the many trying to make me purchase the damn enemy to be in my bathroom and my driver started laughing.
“He doesn’t sale scales!” He told me gesturing the man to follow me in the building…
Turns out that he does drive by weigh-ins. Yeah. You pay him a dollar and he will weigh you. Turns out that Dennis the driver has outstanding credit.
“Check it out!” He says and pushes me on the scale. I cringe, sigh and step on the scale.
78 pounds, hand went around…total 180…
“WAIT.” The scale man pulls out his calculator. I look at him like what the mess? I know I’m thick; I don’t need a calculation to figure that out.
2.2 he says…times 2.2
Ugh?
Turns out in my American education, that little part where my teacher explained the metric system I decided to ignore that lesson because I knew that I would be in England ever measuring anything. How about I FORGOT to convert kilograms into pounds. HOW ABOUT, I’m not 180 pounds.
I came to Africa 185…. as of today, 171….
Did I dance a gig in the office….
Did I order some French fries to celebrate? Hey, I am just doing this thing to get healthy…
Me and a student at the Freshman Matriculation…..he plans to graduate soon, i hope my class doesn’t change those plans…
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