Creamy, Brown, Thick and Smooth…Temptation Fiend
Writing by Jes on Saturday, 11 of April , 2009 at 1:10 pm
Peanut! Peanut Butter!
Jelly.
Peeeeeaaaanut! Peanut Butter!
Jelly.
That was the childhood song I learned toothless in kindergarten with all the other loud lisping kids. A tribute to the best sandwich of all time. This song had me with my own theme dance, because right after screaming out peanut butter I always made sure my little miniature jam would shake with the jelly.
Toothless, two pieces of bread sloshed together with grape jelly and smooth and creamy peanut butter would smack between my taste buds and life was grand. A grand tradition that followed me everywhere high school, college, and even into my early thirties. Of course, this sandwich had hit varieties, syrup and peanut butter, strawberry jam, crunchy peanut butter, wheat bread and even toasted wraps. Don’t matter, in the middle of the night, midst a hunger crunch, I would hum my little tribute song while spreading one the love, making sure to shake my jam with every note.
So when sitting down watching “Biggest Loser” I am studying, half tuned in to the show, living my life like it is golden. Proud of my new lifestyle, I have to say that I have been great at eating nutritious the whole day. Cooking my own food (a miracle for independent gadget number one) and staying as natural as possible. I mean at the time of studying I have my bottle of water and an apple. KUDOS!
Well “Biggest Loser” has this temptation challenge where the contestants have to eat snacks and candy in order to find a golden ticket. While they do this the host is hollering the calorie count of each item they digest. I decided to listen and tempt myself at the same time, because a sister really has NO intention of going back to that lifestyle (except for peach cobbler—everyone has a weakness).
Cupcake. 500 calories. (DAMN)
Frosted Doughnut. 290 calories. (Whew, not a biggie)
Pretzel. 350 calories. (Okay, bye Aunt Annie. Not stressed)
Peanut Butter & Jelly Sandwich. 400 calories. (WHAT THE HELL?)
My whole life has been exposed as a lie. My beloved peanut butter and jelly sandwich a daggone 400 calories. I jumped up and had to peer in closer to the television. Not peanut butter and jelly, right. I wish I was. AUGH! After closer inspection, I realized I have been killing myself. Not only was their PB&J was 400 calories, it was spread like white people spread sandwiches. I mean when I created my stuff, it would be jelly sliding all over the place, peanut butter bunched up and hitting every corner. I was the Shaft of PB&J, a bad mutha…watchayoself.
My childhood comfort food was a destination for a blubber stomach. Scabbed knee, Momma dusted it off and gave me a sandwich. Bad day at school, Momma cut the sandwich into the shape of heart. Please recognize that the Washington household brought toasted PB&J gingerbread people for the 5th grade School Holiday Festival. A family that spreads together stays together.
Do you know how much of the American dream was conceived around the edges of a PB&J sandwich? How many kids dream of becoming pilots, doctors, teachers, and even presidents? Not one dreams of clogged arteries, high fat intake, or blood sugar and that is the sandwich that is the bridge towards that downward spiral. Kind of like your transition drug. Once you can start taking two or three hits of PB&J, you are hooked for life. I could cry.
In fact, the truth of the matter is there are too many habits that we incorporate in the innocence of our youth. From me making my students pop M&M’s in bribes to be good to sugar laced drinks gulped down with the idea of getting a taste of fruit, we are setting ourselves up to be forever bowing down to the Goddess of Love—Handles. And for me, it started with a tribute song with me shaking my jam and jelly in ode to my homie Peanut Butter.
I’m going cold turkey. Forget the pains and the cravings. Peanut Butter is cut off, no longer a stakeholder in my life.
Cold TURKEY. Oh should I say….COLD PB&J. Starting right now….after this last one hit.
Peanut! Peanut Butter!
Jelly.
Peeeeeaaaanut! Peanut Butter!
Jelly. R.I.P.
Category: April 09, Uncategorized
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