Finding Content Peace, Value the Heart’s Desire
Writing by Jes on Tuesday, 28 of April , 2009 at 1:30 pm
There are so many things that are my mind at this particular time. New revelations, understandings, crazy dreams, and even a universal concept that has become clear to me, but as I sit in my room alone on a Sunday afternoon listening to a mix of pure soul it is these moments that I realize hold the secret sensations of what life should be.
I wish I could utter these understandings like Stevie in the Key of Life, then everyone can groove to one motion, one beat in a perfect harmony, but all I have are my words. Words that were given to me as a gift and I proudly wear it as a first grader shows his toothless grin. As wind blows through the halls of my house that I leave open and exposed as I am on this glorious dusk of weekday’s eve. I know I am a thirty something year old woman who hasn’t yet…. or possibly couldn’t, or wouldn’t sometimes shouldn’t I am content, because if life passes and all I have focused on is what hasn’t been found yet, then I didn’t deserve the time I was blessed to have this journey.
We miss the moments until they are bundled up in our mind as distant memories; too busy searching for the answer to questions that don’t matter. We are being sold a constant thread of things and ideas to let us know that at this time, we don’t measure up. We are not smart enough, strong enough, rich enough, fit enough, no matter what we are not enough…we fall short at that perfect point and we must find the remedies within our life cycle to become what outside forces believe is approipate. We use their definitions and destinations as pinpoints in our life to measure our desires and begin living a life that was constructed out of conformity, not our individual perception.
I hope that we gain the knowledge to sit back at times and not worry about being happy, but being content…a content understanding that is designed with peace and a place that has no value to tomorrow’s expectations but can only relish in the perfections of the past. Yes, no one’s past is perfect but it has been lived and through this time we can revisit what it means to become who we are in the fullest. To remember the things we have and how in this life’s journey it makes it more enjoyable.
See, if I look toward my societal standards, I am obese, working poor, mid-income (barely), single, unwed, and childless. On any day, one of these things haunts me into treading harder on the plow field, allowing a burden of expectations to break my back. But the truth is, I am loved and have been loved and if I send time seeking love, I will miss out on moments that consisted of pure laughter, joy, pride, admiration, adoring, all because I choose to focus on what I don’t have yet instead of what I have had, even if it was for a moment.
What I am saying is simply, we all have those moments that make us invaluable and we should work on becoming a person who can continue in that tradition. The prayer should be simply for a place were more people can enjoy a peace within their soul, instead of a person gaining more and more. Life really isn’t about what we can gather, but rather what can we give. And the purest worth is found within the heart.
Everyone deserves a place where they can be content in peace, I would say happy as well, but when the excitement dies down and quiet emerges and there is a smile on your soul stays like a wine stain on the purest white cotton, then that is the content place of peace. The point that could say that even though there are “What Ifs” lying in front of me, I know what “I Had”.
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