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Writing by Jes on Tuesday, 23 of March , 2010 at 11:21 pm
For a moment I hated your silence
I hated that there were moments there that held small guesses
A chance for my mind to create what you were thinking
Or an opportunity for my imagination to run wild with thoughts you never encountered.
I guess your silence scared me
But its part of your man-code
A disposition that started years ago in tag football, headlocks that lasted to long, or prideful moments that caused you to think in silence
Or scream, or cry, it’s the code that testosterone disables feelings
It’s the loss of emotion
A loss of words
It’s the no words at all
That had me scared, until I realize you spoke in another language
And when I would be quiet long enough to feel your lingers
I realized they screamed in soft tones everything I ever wanted to hear from you
Your fingertips traced over my back
In the language of Braille that asked about my day, while tickle sweet adjectives that make me blush in desert heat
They follow my hips to say I notice you, you are beautiful, magnificent, unique, a star that fell from the heavens and you gladly take out the time to find reasons to make it shine
They tap out Morris code that whisper dirty words in public places and set up meetings for rendezvous promised when time runs short
Then they rest where ever they fall saying don’t leave, you see me, you appreciate me, my warmth powers your soul.
You speak to me, without saying a word, I become a pad of chills and bumps and you read your emotions out loud to me over and over again, and I stay still and silent while I learn to listen to your codes
And it becomes my poetry and understanding
And realize it said more than any word that you could have uttered
So I no longer get frustrated I believed you miss an opportunity to say what you feel
You create moments different from mine and I get it, I won’t tell your boys
Or your father
Or anyone who believes a man is made of steel
Because you are
And in our quiet, I keep hidden your kryptonite
Your locks Samson
Your Juliet oh dear Romeo
For I am now with a secret
A code that you sculpt on skin and stare in eyes and I translate it and hold that dear to me in reminisced shutters and chills that run up my spine
Like the words you will trace out later
And all I ever ask of you is to never stop writing, tracing, sculpting, feeling, with my body as your canvas
Explore me with your words
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